How I Feel About Coming Home

I feel so strange knowing that I’ll be home in a month. The past four months in Brazil have absolutely flown by. Granted there were times where I thought the day wouldn’t end. Things were happening at home and me missing out and being so far away…it was hard at times. I think thats something I often forget about while travelling. When I go somewhere new I feel as if its just me moving forward and changing and I forget that things at home are also changing. I don’t know why I has the thought that everything would stay the same at home even if I changed over the past few months. Just because its home and its comfortable doesn’t mean things can’t shift and turn. That became abundantly clear to me this summer. My little brother grew into an adult had his debs (well 3 in fact the little player) and went off to college, my grandaunt who was like a second grandmother to me died, my little cousins got bigger, I turned 21 away from my familiar family and friends, my best friends got boyfriends and tattoos and drunk without me, my house got painted, my cat became wild and doesn’t sleep inside anymore, even my car that (I call Pearl) which I thought would stay under a plastic cover got driven around by my grandad.

Nothing stood still while I was gone, life goes on, wherever you are. I’m glad this became clear to me because that way when I come home instead of feeling like I’ve landed in something dated a reminder of who I was and my outlook from when I left I can now go back and see that the main parts of life at home are still there. Yes they may have been painted, driven around and even changed behaviours, but thats because life has moved on and so have I.

I’m looking forward to coming home this change is good. I have gotten to know my moms side of the family something I never thought I would, and I feel like I understand her a lot more as a person now, not just as my mom. My Portuguese has improved immensely. I have only been drunk once all summer and majorly developed self restraint. My liver is for sure grateful. This is a big thing for me because before I left I had such an unhealthy lifestyle always going out surrounded by people who in the end just were not good for me. I have re focused on whats important to me in life. I am so excited to come home and just live the best life I possibly can for myself and work hard and achieve my goals! I have gone to some amazing places. I got to go horse riding again which I adore, spent time at the farm living simply picking oranges from a tree and digging up vegetables, tried new foods (good and bad haha). I got a tattoo. I had a double birthday party with my cousin. I spent time with my godparents in São Paulo. I went to Foz do Iguaçu and took in one of the worlds most beautiful views for a second time as I couldn’t remember it from when I was younger. I spent a lot of time on buses and have a new appreciation for Ryanair even at their worst they sure as hell beat a 22 hour bus ride to Argentina’s capital. But I got to go to Argentina and Buenos Aires completed stunned me, I didn’t think it would have been anywhere as amazing as it was. I got to argue with my Nonno (grandad) about how much I use my phone (he says I’m always on it, but we all know thats a lie haha). I got to drink wine and smoke a cigarette with my Nonna (grandmother) who is in her mid 80’s which is something I’ll always remember. Oh and of course I laughed a lot. Sometimes things over here were hard too looking after two sick grand parents worrying about their medical needs and such, not everything was always easy. I just never let it get to me too much, hence all the laughing. I do think you can find humour in most things which is what I did joking around with my grandparents. I saw the place where my parents first met. I saw some amazing art and interior design. I wasn’t deprived of sushi thank God! I got 3 wisdom teeth out without a general anaesthetic, so now I feel like I’m indestructible, even though I whinged about it like a baby for a week. I was basically adopted and treated as family by my moms friend and her family and I have never been so grateful or felt so lucky to have known such kind caring people. I also learned how to cook (haha no okay thats a lie I’ll never be able to cook). But overall all I can say is these past 4 months have been an experience to say the least. It’s funny how life changes, I had flights booked and everything to go somewhere else for the summer and this opportunity sprung on me I had no clue what I was signing up for. I am so glad I came here to Brazil and I still have a month to go! The best things in life really do happen unexpectedly.

-Bri xo

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