Something that has been installed in me since I was young is the whole concept of being an adult and doing adult things and being a grown up.
When you’re younger you form a mental image of what being an adult consists of based on everything you’ve learned about adults throughout your life.
My idea of an adult was a list of qualities I believed you had to possess in order to be an adult.
How to be an Adult :
- Have a full time job
- Not live with your parents
- Be over the age of 18
- Pay bills for yourself like taxes and rent
- Be self sufficient
- Be able to meet up with your friends for drinks on a weekday
- Drive a car
- Travel alone
- Be able to look after yourself like doing laundry, making your own appointments and cooking
- Save money
Thats honestly what I thought it took to be an adult.
Im turning 22 this month and I am perplexed at the way things have turned out. I have ticked off all of the items on my ‘Adult list’ and do not feel in anyway ‘adult’ enough. I feel like asking some other successful more adult adults what’s next? Or is this really all there is to it? I can do all of these things on my list and have done all of those things but I do not feel like an adult.
Is this all it takes to be a grown up? Accomplish these things and hold yourself to some level of maturity and responsibility?
I still feel like a 16 year old which is where the cliche of “you’re only as old as you feel” comes in. I feel like it was just yesterday I was on my summer holidays from school all excited about going to Longitude (a music festival) and all of a sudden I have blinked and I’m working 40+ hours a week and wearing a black pant suit.
It’s as if time has moved so fast I’ve gone through all of the motions of becoming what I thought was an adult life yet feel just the same as I did at 16.
I don’t think this is a bad thing. I think you really are as old as you feel. Doing the adult things are a part of growing up and becoming self sufficient but that doesn’t mean by becoming an adult you’ll have everything figured out. The truth is I don’t think any one has it all figured out. We’re all just doing our best to do what we think is right.
The verb to adult is to behave in a way characteristic of a responsible individual, especially by accomplishing mundane but necessary tasks. I’ve realised this whole concept of ‘Adulting’ is bull shit. You’re never really an adult you just assume more responsibility over yourself in life which people have no other word to describe that but by using the term ‘adult’.
Adulting is BS you assume whatever level of self sufficiency and responsibility you want to take up in life. You’re not an adult if you can check off everything on a list that you think makes an adult. You’re only an adult if you feel like one. I think I’ll choose to stay feeling like a 16 year old with a decent amount of self sufficiency.
A definition of an adult is an individual that is fully grown or developed. No one is fully grown or developed we’re learning new things all the time and constantly changing so why would anyone want to be an adult anyway?